


are all lesbians adrenaline junkies?

by midnight_queery



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drunk!Alex, F/F, KaraLena, Lena Luthor Is A Lesbian, Lena knows Kara is supergirl, One Shot, SuperCorp, SuperCorp crack, Supercorp One Shot, and I love it, drunk!Kara, drunk!kate, kara is pan, karlena, queer up people, self-indulgent fic, sheer dumbassery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24677284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnight_queery/pseuds/midnight_queery
Summary: Lena Luthor is scheduled to give a lecture at Gotham University in a week, so Commander Kane goes to her office to suggest she utilize the services of the Crows for her stay. Then his daughter literally drops in and he’s left speechless as he witnesses the easy dynamic between the Luthor, Supergirl, his daughter, and someone named Alex (who also literally dropped in).
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 16
Kudos: 395





	are all lesbians adrenaline junkies?

**Author's Note:**

> I had an idea and I ran with it. This is the lovely, ridiculous result. xp

Jess had been surprised when Jacob Kane, Head of Crows Security in Gotham City, called to book an appointment with Lena. She had been even more surprised when Lena agreed to meet with him. She had half expected some wannabe assassin to show up, poorly disguised and faking an unnecessary accent Team-Rocket-style, but Commander Kane himself walked up to her desk to check in. At least, she hoped it was Commander Kane. She had seen some very disturbing things on the news about identity theft in Gotham City. Still, she figured if anything bad happened Supergirl would swoop in, hopefully before Lena pulled out one of her fancy self-made guns and obliterated the man.

“Miss Luthor? Commander Kane is here for his three o’clock appointment.” Jess buzzed him in at Lena’s behest and watched him warily as he entered the office. Everything would be fine. Right? Oh, who was she kidding? She worked for Lena Luthor nothing was ever fine. Hopefully they’d all just survive to see tomorrow. Well, maybe not any wannabe assassins- Supergirl could toss them off the balcony and Jess would be fine with that. As long as she didn’t need to call in yet another clean up crew for Lena’s office in the aftermath of a fight. She could feel the judgment through the phone every time and it just pissed her off.

///

“Miss Luthor, thank you for agreeing to see me,” Commander Kane said as the door closed behind him. The young CEO’s eyes swept over him, and he felt himself straighten instinctively under her assessing gaze. For a moment he felt like he was back in the army, standing at attention during an inspection, and even when she politely returned his greeting instead of yelling critiques in his face, he still couldn’t relax.

“Of course, Commander Kane. I must admit I’m curious as to why you wanted to speak with me. I assume it has something to do with the lecture I’ll be giving at Gotham University next week?” Lena leaned back in her chair, eyes never leaving Jacob Kane. “Please, have a seat.” She gestured to the chair situated in front of her desk and arched her brow imperiously when the man hesitated. Luckily for him he chose to walk over and sit down instead of insisting he remain standing- she never had understood some people’s need to try to assert their dominance by refusing to sit, especially when she sat in her own chair like it was a throne. Lena Luthor was L-Corp’s queen, and anyone she allowed into her office was a mere peasant before her, status be damned.

“You’re correct, Miss Luthor,” Commander Kane said once he was seated. “Gotham can be a very dangerous place, especially for a woman of your standing. I know you’ll only be there for a day, but I’d like to suggest you utilize the services of the Crows. Unlike National City, we don’t have a superhero who can swoop in and save the day.” Kane gave a forced chuckle. Though it hadn’t been confirmed, he suspected that Supergirl worked with a government agency, hence the black-clad backup that occasionally showed up, so he’d decided she wasn’t quite as detestable as his local vigilante. Plus she had super powers and he couldn’t stand against that. Hopefully she stayed in National City.

“Oh? Has Batwoman moved to another city, Commander?” Lena asked. Jacob Kane scowled at the mention of the masked woman and Lena crossed her arms, staring him down. He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“Batwoman is a vigilante. She runs around like she’s above the law, dealing out what she calls justice as she sees fit. I wouldn’t trust your protection to her, Miss Luthor. You’ll be dead before she can even throw her batarang.” Kane’s scowl was deeper now, his voice an angry rumble.

“I take it you aren’t a fan of hers, hmm?” Lena watched as Kane’s entire body tensed. His eyes had darkened, and she recognized the shadows of anger and hate that came over him. She had never met the man across from her before today, but for a split second she felt like she was sitting across from her brother. She suppressed a shudder, her crossed arms tightening as if to shield herself.

“The Crows consider her enemy number one. I’ve ordered them to shoot to kill,” Kane growled. Lena’s eyes widened in surprise, and he winced. He’d come here to promote his business, not piss off a Luthor. Then again, if he could get her on his side, maybe she could get him some kryptonite. Lex had nearly killed Superman, surely there was still some of that batsuit-piercing rock lying around…

“That seems a bit extreme, Commander Kane,” Lena said carefully. This idiot was going to get his own daughter killed. Lena was still amused at how surprised Kate had been when Kara had introduced her, both of the heroes still in costume, and Lena had complimented her on what she was doing with her new real estate firm. Kara had just laughed and said Lena pretty much did the same to her last year.

“She can’t just run around-” Kane’s tirade was cut off by a low ‘woop woop’ sound and he looked around, startled. He jerked his head over to Lena, who was suddenly on her feet, a sleek, metallic gun (at least it looked like a gun?) clasped between her hands and pointed at the ground, her eyes trained on the balcony. The sound must have been some kind of proximity alarm. He looked over just in time to see two people fly through the air, landing in somersaults and rolling into the office.

“That. Was. Awesome!” a familiar voice exclaimed. Kate Kane was sprawled on the floor of Lena’s office, a woman wearing a black tactical uniform sprawled next to her. Both had ridiculously wide grins on their faces.

“Really?” Lena drawled. Commander Kane tore his gaze from his daughter to Lena, eyes still wide with shock, and watched her tuck the gun into a drawer. “It’s still not an entrance, Supergirl.” Lena was facing the balcony again, and Kane looked over to see the local superhero touch down on the balcony with a light thud and a wide grin.

“Lenaaa!” There was a blast of wind and suddenly Supergirl was hugging Lena Luthor, who didn’t look the least bit surprised as she returned the hug. Commander Kane stared at them blankly. Okay, maybe there wasn’t any kryptonite still lying around. “I’m a li’l tipsy,” Supergirl said with a giggle.

“I can see that. Supergirl,” Lena started, gently extracting herself from the embrace, “why did Alex and Kate just enter my office via the balcony?”

“They’re a li’l tipsy too. Wanted me to throw ‘em. So I did,” Supergirl said with a shrug. Lena turned to the women still sprawled on the floor, and Kane watched curiously as Supergirl hugged the Luthor from behind, resting her head on her shoulder and humming happily.

“So let me get this straight,” Lena said, both eyebrows raised, “you two got Supergirl drunk and had her throw you through my balcony, fully aware that I am ready for any attackers and that I easily could have turned you both to dust had I not realized who you were?”

Kane made a slight choking sound, but no one paid him any attention.

“Yup!” Kate exclaimed. “I’m surprised you got it straight. I woulda thought you’d get it gay.” Kate broke out into giggles and Lena rolled her eyes as Alex smacked Kate on the arm and tried to muffle her own laughter with her fist.

“Are all lesbians adrenaline junkies?” Supergirl wondered aloud.

“…why are you asking me?” Lena replied as calmly as she could, fully knowing the damn Kryptonian could hear her heart rate increase.

“Oh,” Supergirl said softly, a crinkle appearing between her eyebrows. “Yeah, I’ve saved you from enough ridiculous situations to know you’re an adrenaline junkie too. You really need to stop jumping off of high buildings and cliffs, Lena.”

“I-I’m not… I wasn’t just jumping for the fun of it!” Lena exclaimed, blushing.

“Yeah,” Alex chimed in, “you just piss off ancient aliens with god complexes for the fun of it. Cuz that makes more sense.”

“Shut up, Alex,” Lena muttered. Supergirl giggled.

“All my favorite lesbians in one place,” Supergirl said happily.

“We have names, Supergirl,” Kate said with a wry smile.

No one seemed to realize Commander Kane was in the room, his head on a swivel like the conversation was some kind of tennis match. What the hell was happening right now?

“I know that!” Supergirl said with a huff. “You’re the dumbass lesbian,” the hero said, pointing to Alex, who sputtered indignantly. “I’ve had to deal with all of your relationship troubles, so I stand by that, especially after what happened with Maggie. And you,” Supergirl pointed to Kate, “are the Lesbian, with a capital L cuz I really don’t think anyone could look at you and think you’re straight,” Supergirl continued.

“Alice did,” Kate mumbled.

“And that’s how you knew she was truly insane,” Supergirl said without missing a beat. Alex and Lena both nodded in agreement. “And Lena here is our resident useless lesbian.” Supergirl kissed her on the cheek and Lena’s protest died in her throat as her blush darkened.

“Ya can’t fight that one, Lena,” Alex said happily. “You’ve been in love with my sister for years and still haven’t asked her out.”

“I don’t think I’m Kara’s type,” Lena managed to say, fully aware that Kara was currently draped all over her and that Alex was giving them both a knowing look. She was just grateful they were talking about Kara as if she wasn’t Supergirl. Which was when she remembered they had an audience. And decided that she preferred sober Alex’s teasing to drunk Alex’s bluntness.

“Oh no, you’re definitely Kara’s type,” Supergirl said. “I think the stereotype woulda held true even if she was straight though.” Lena probably would have fallen down in shock if the strong arms around her waist didn’t tug her back into Supergirl’s chest and hold her up. “Lena?” Supergirl’s voice was concerned, and she tried to peer around at Lena’s face. “What’s wrong?”

If that damn Commander Kane weren’t there Lena would have whirled around and kissed her. Hell, she almost did anyway, completely forgetting his presence in light of the reveal that she genuinely hadn’t seen coming, but he’d finally had enough and cleared his throat.

“Kate, what are you doing here?” Kane demanded. Kate leapt to her feet and stared at him in shock.

“Dad? What the hell are you doing here?” Kate reached down to help Alex up, and they both wore identical worried expressions (worried they’d accidentally given away Kara’s identity, but Kane didn’t need to know that).

“Well unlike some people I came in through the door. And had an appointment,” Commander Kane growled, crossing his arms as he stared his daughter down. Kate gulped but assumed a similar stance, her arms ready at her sides, as if preparing for a fight.

“That’s your dad,” Supergirl commented blearily. “I don’t like him. He had his guys shoot at Batwoman.” Supergirl pouted at Commander Kane, and for some reason he felt like he’d just kicked a puppy.

“He did what?” Lena asked, her mind back on the business at hand.

“He agreed to help Batwoman apprehend a mentally ill man, but instead had the Crows kill him right when she was actually getting through to him. Then they started shooting at her,” Kate growled, her furious eyes boring into her father. Kane didn’t even flinch.

“She’s no better than a criminal,” he retorted. “The Crows will take her down, and you will see reason. Batwoman isn’t a hero- she’s just an imposter running around in a fancy suit.”

“It really is fancy,” Supergirl said. “You should check it out some time, Lena. It’s way cooler than my suit. I only just got pants,” Supergirl added with a sad frown. Lena patted her arm distractedly, eyes on Kane.

“I have to disagree with you, Commander Kane,” Lena said, eyes narrowed. The man whirled to her with an angry scowl, and once again he reminded her of Lex. She was very glad Supergirl was holding her in that moment. “I think Batwoman is doing a better job of protecting Gotham than the Crows have been doing as of late. And she protects them for free, unlike you. She gives them hope, and that’s something people always need, especially when things seem hopeless.” Lena squeezed Supergirl’s arm and the hero smiled, nuzzling into her hair a moment before turning hard eyes to Commander Kane and sticking her tongue out at him. The man blinked in shock at that before opening his mouth to reply, but Lena cut him off. “I think this meeting is over now. When I give my lecture at Gotham University next week, I don’t expect to see any Crows around, unless of course they’re there out of uniform and purely to attend the lecture. If anything happens, I trust Batwoman to keep me safe.”

“Understood,” Kane said gruffly. “Thank you for your time, Miss Luthor.” He really couldn’t afford to piss off a Luthor who -literally- had a Super behind her. He clomped over to the door, but paused as he reached for the handle, turning to his daughter. “We will be talking about this later, Katherine,” he intoned before opening the door and letting it close behind him.

///

“Your name is Katherine?” Kara asked Kate once Commander Kane had gone, eyes wide with delight. “That means I could totally call you Kat! Just like Ms. Grant!”

“Uh, hell no. I’ve met Cat Grant. Regardless of spelling, she is definitely the type to kill me so she’s the only one with the name. I may be an adrenaline junkie, but I don’t have a death wish.” Kate raised her hands defensively, and much to Lena’s amusement there was genuine worry in her eyes.

“Well, Kate, it seems I’m no longer the person in the room with the most fucked up family,” Lena said with a grin, leaning her head back onto Kara’s shoulder.

“Oh no, Lena, you still take the cake on that one,” Alex said with a snort.

“I want some cake,” Kara commented. Her stomach growled before anyone could tell her it was just an expression. 

They all laughed at that while Kara pouted and mumbled about cake. Lena eventually escaped the Super’s grasp and pressed a button on her desk, telling Jess to order potstickers, pizza, and cake. Kara squealed.

“I could totally kiss you right now, Lena,” Kara gushed, eyes bright at the prospect of food.

“Go ahead,” Lena replied with a purr, thoughts of Batwoman’s daddy issues knocked aside by the memory of Kara telling her she was her type.

“Really?” Kara’s eyes were wide with shock, and she started bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet. Lena walked up to her, a smile on her lips.

“If you really want to,” Lena whispered, biting her lip nervously. Kara beamed before ducking her head down and pressing her lips to Lena’s.

Lena’s surprised gasp was swallowed by the kiss, and she felt Kara’s warm hands cup her face ever so gently as her eyes fluttered closed, her own hands coming to rest on Kara’s waist. The kiss was light and sweet, and when they pulled apart thanks to Kate cheering and Alex making gagging sounds Lena couldn’t even be mad at them because she felt so fucking warm and happy.

“Kiss or no kiss,” Kate proclaimed, “you’re still the useless lesbian of the group until you ask Kara to be your girlfriend!”

“Kara,” Lena began with a slight eyeroll at Kate’s antics, “will you please be my girlfriend? And don’t answer that til you’re sober,” she added quickly, remembering suddenly that Kara was drunk.

“The alcohol wore off already,” Kara replied, shrugging one shoulder. “A little before I stuck my tongue out at Kate’s dad.” She gave them all a shit-eating grin as Kate burst into laughter. “So I am sober. Which means I can confidently tell you, Lena Luthor, that I would love to be your girlfriend.”

Lena’s smile was so wide it made her face hurt. Before she could try to kiss Kara again (which she had already decided was definitely her favorite thing to do), Kate popped in between them and slung her arms around their shoulders.

“Ah, the useless lesbian has evolved into the PDA lesbian. Congrats, ladies,” Kate said happily. “Also, Alex and I will not be leaving til we get some pizza.”

“So,” Alex said with her arms crossed, “you two are going to have to be content making heart eyes at each other like you usually do until we get some food. Got it?”

“I’m never throwing you guys through a balcony door again,” Kara grumbled.

“Please don’t,” Lena said. “I very nearly shot them.” Kara looked over at her, concerned, but it quickly faded to amusement at the smile on Lena’s face. Her eyes darted down to Lena’s lips and then back up again quickly, and Lena felt her face flush as she licked her lips unconsciously. Kate pushed them both away from her.

“Get a room!” Alex said with a scowl as Kate laughed at them.

“Maybe you should have shot them,” Kara grumbled. 

“I don’t know, they have a point,” Lena said with a sly grin. “I mean, I literally own this building, and therefore this office, my office I might remind you, which means I have a perfectly good room, couch and all.”

When Jess brought the food in she saw Agent Danvers and Kate Kane on the balcony, both of them sneaking glances at the couch every few seconds only to make a face (disgusted in Alex’s case and lewd in Kate’s) before turning back to gazing out at the city. Lena was on the couch with Supergirl, cuddling and kissing. Jess was just glad her boss had finally womaned up and kissed the bubbly reporter (she ordered their food half the time- it wasn’t that hard to put two and two together when Kara’s ridiculous food order matched Supergirl’s), and she had to quell the urge to mutter ‘finally’ as she dropped the food onto the table. Lena jolted away from Supergirl at the sound of the rustling bags, her panicked eyes going to Jess, but her secretary just smiled at her before gesturing to the food and leaving.

“About damn time,” Jess muttered as the door closed. It wasn’t until she heard Kara’s bark of laughter that she remembered the hero had super hearing. Well fuck.


End file.
